


Without Spidey (Without Me Parody)

by Lexicona



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Filk, Gen, Parody, Song Parody, sony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexicona/pseuds/Lexicona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A parody of the Eminem song "Without Me" celebrating the return of Spider-Man to the big screen as part of the MCU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without Spidey (Without Me Parody)

Peter Parker, real name, no gimmicks!

Two Infinity Stones go round the outside

Round the outside, round the outside

Two Infinity Stones go round the outside

Round the outside, round the outside

Loki: [OOH](http://i.imgur.com/2yLd5Ak.gif)

Thor: Guess who's back

Hawkeye: Back again

Tony: Spidey's back

Steve: Tell a friend

Natasha: Guess who's back,

Maria Hill: Guess who's back

Nick Fury: Guess who's back

Wanda: Guess who's back

 

Vision: Guess who's Back

Scott: Guess who's back

Deadpool: Guess who's back...With Marvel!

*Catchy instrumental music followed by the sound of someone lighting a match*

I've created a monster, 'Cause nobody wants to see Tobey no more they want Garfield (I'm chopped liver!)

Well if you want Spidey, this is what I'll give ya:

A little bit of Venom mixed with some Super Serum 

Some comics featuring Quicksilver

And the critics who thought Ultron didn't deliver

And they're dissing the actors who appeared in it

Though they're forgetting Perlmutter is a miserly twit

You waited this long now stop debating 'cause I'm back on the ropes and people need saving

I know that you got issues Ms. Van Dyne

But you should know the entire universe is on the line

So the CCA won't let me be or let me be me so let me see

They tried to keep me locked out like Wolverine

But it feels so empty without me

So come on let's go, come on you know

Oh yeah 

Some on let's crawl up and down the walls and get ready cuz this shit's about to get awesome I just reloaded all my web cartridges Fuck YOU Lifeld!

_Now this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody just follow me_

_'Cause we need a little controversy_

_'Cause it feels so empty without me_

Little fanboys and other comic fans feeling like they need their fics.

Embarrassed that their parents only read Archie comics

They start feeling unfulfilled 

Till Fiege comes along on a mission and yells "HEY"

A visionary, The Vision ain't scary, could start another reboot then Jameson says that I'm a menace!

Oh Sure, just let me revel and ask "Do you think I don't know everyone's on my ass?" I'm a disaster, what a cacophony for you to reboot me so many times (did you ask for me)

Well I'm back (batman sound) Now I'm here and here's the plan we're gonna start anew, not phase two, but rather three. Then i'm gonna make my dramatic entrance you'll see

I'll be the spotlight stealer for "Civil War" and then you'll see that I'm all the more interesting, the best thing since wrestling Infesting in your kids ears and nesting

Tony Stark: Testing "Attention Please"

Peter: Yeah I'll pay attention as soon as you post pics of me here's my jokes, I'm broke, please don't poke me!

_Now this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody just follow me_

_'Cause we need a little controversy_

_'Cause it feels so empty without me_

A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go head-for-head with anybody who's talking this shit that shit

DC you can get your ass kicked worse than that Fantastic Four Jackass (Trank!)

And Tobey? You can get stomped by Sony, all you 40-something year old curmudgeons can blow me!

You don't know me, you're too old, let go, it's over—Nobody Wants to See Electro!

Now let's go, just give me the slip

I'll be there with a whole list full of new quips I've been downright suspenseful with a pencil ever since Chris Pratt turned himself into an idol!

But sometimes it all just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me so this must mean I'm disgusting, But it's just me, I'm just obscene!

Though I'm not the worst thing to ever be this is the best thing since Joe Straczynski

I think I made a deal with Mephisto

But it doesn't matter since nobody seems to care or know about that..

Hey, There's a concept that works 20 million other shared universes emerge

But no matter how many Spider-men there'll be

It felt so empty without me

Kids!


End file.
